Ways for Men to Have Multiple Orgasms (Part 1)

You’ve probably heard – or discovered to your own delight – that women can have more than one orgasm during a single love-making session. Sometimes one climax rolls directly into another, sometimes orgasms are separated by a few seconds or minutes. Men often joke about envying women’s special capacity for having multiple orgasms. But what many don’t know is that they too have the capacity to have orgasm after orgasm without ejaculating and without losing their erection.

We don’t know how many men today can have multiple orgasms, because it hasn’t been studied much, but word has begun to get out, and as men are learning the techniques that enable them to have these experiences, the numbers are surely growing. Listen closely now, and I’m going to tell you the secret of male multiple orgasm. There are two key points about male multiples to keep in mind:

The first is that male ejaculation and male orgasm are two entirely different bodily processes, and do not have to occur at the same time. This is news to most people, so don’t be surprised if you’ve never heard it. Multiple orgasms are achieved by delaying or avoiding ejaculation, while at the same time, during the course of sexual activity, experiencing what I call “dry” orgasms – that is, the sensation of extreme pleasure that we call orgasm, minus the expulsion of fluid or loss of erection.

This leads to the second major point: male orgasms can be experienced as “full body” orgasms, involving the entire body, not just the sexual organs. This is the other side of the fact that orgasm and ejaculation are different. Think of it like this: orgasm is essentially a brain phenomenon that is connected to the entire body, not just to the genitals. Once the technique of delaying ejaculation is under control, a man can practice and learn to intensify his arousal levels during sexual stimulation to the point that his mind and body are ready to climax. With practice, he can develop ways to connect orgasms with a full body experience. But he must first be able to have control over his ejaculations.

Before I take you through a step by step process for developing this ability, I want to propose an idea that I hope will help you put the concept of non-ejaculatory orgasms in a new light.

In our society, many males first learn of sex when they have involuntary ejaculations – what we call “wet dreams.” Later, when they discover deliberate masturbation, they often find that ejaculations are still somewhat involuntary – they come when they come, with little control over when that happens – and that can lead to a bad habit of coming quickly – especially if they masturbate in secret to avoid being found out, and rush to get to the goal.

Partnered sex then often reflects masturbation habits – in its goal, in its speed, and even in style of action. That means that a lot of the nuances of pleasure are lost. A major sacrifice is the high that comes from maintaining arousal for long periods of time. Men who have difficulty with coming too quickly often have never evolved past their masturbation habits, and their body’s responses have become habitual, creating problems in their relationships with partners who want sex to last longer. Learning to delay or avoid ejaculation and instead, concentrate on the surprisingly varied, subtle and intense sensations in the genitals, and emotionally and psychologically, and in the whole body, is a new and often strange concept for most men. It’s actually a paradigm shift, asking you to cherish prolonging and maximizing arousal. Extending and expanding pleasure becomes your new goal. The old endpoint – just getting off – is no longer viewed as success.

So, let’s move on to some techniques that will prepare you for multiple orgasms by teaching you how to control ejaculation. In a follow-up video, I’ll tell you how to facilitate the body’s non-ejaculatory or “dry” orgasmic response.

Ironically, the key to learning to back off from ejaculation is the same as the one that taught you to ejaculate rapidly: masturbation. To do this you have to be willing to commit to a series of daily masturbation exercises. I know – that’s a tough homework assignment, but it’s doctor’s orders, OK?

You’ll want to masturbate nearly up to the point of ejaculation, that is, you’ll want to stop PRIOR to what we call ejaculatory inevitability. This is the point when even if the house were on fire, you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from coming. Masturbate up to the point just prior to that, paying very close attention to all the arousal sensations throughout your body, and pay attention to all the unique genital sensations leading up to it. If you often come too quickly, mastering this part of the homework is essential. Currently, you might not even be aware of where the point of ejaculatory inevitability is, because you fly past it before you knew you were there. So for you, stopping and letting sensation subside when you are maybe only halfway there, and then slowly learning to recognize all the levels of arousal that you’re capable of, is a most important part of the process. Even more slowly, you can proceed to stopping when you’re 60% of the way there, then 70%, then 80%, then 90% of the way to ejaculation.

Now, to develop the capacity for multiples, you’ll also need to learn to breathe fully and well. Deep, full abdominal breathing matters, and is an important way of distributing energy throughout your body. So here’s a quick instruction on abdominal breathing. Sit in a good, comfortable breathing position, and slowly breathe from the bottom of your lungs up, filling them, inhaling, taking into your body all the oxygen that you can. Place your hand on your belly and feel it expand as you inhale and then deflate as you slowly exhale. Now imagine breathing, or sending your breath, into the pelvic area, into your penis, into your balls, into your thighs, into your feet and then even into the earth beneath you, to ground yourself. You need to do this every day for about 5 minutes, until it becomes second nature. You’ll also find more advanced breathing techniques that will help you with all of these processes in the references I will mention later.

In addition, you need to learn how to use and strengthen your pelvic muscles. This, along with breathing, is the key to multiple orgasms. Your pelvic muscles are often referred to as your PC muscles – men and women have them. If you’ve ever felt a partner squeeze her vaginal muscles around your penis during sex, she’s using her PC muscles to do it. You may have heard of exercises called Kegels to increase the grip of these muscles, of the vaginal muscles. They were originally developed to help with urinary control, because they are the same muscles that squeeze off the flow of urine, but the same muscles also can squeeze off ejaculation and contribute to the intensity of your orgasmic experiences. Developing peak PC fitness is a bit like training athletically. It can take months of concentrated effort. You’ll get the most bang for your buck, though, by doing exercises daily, even three or four times a day. Squeeze your PC muscles – in fact, do it right now. You can feel yourself squeeze the same muscles that you would use to stop the flow of urine. Squeeze your muscles, hold for three seconds, release for three seconds, and repeat ten times. As you grow stronger, you’ll want to progressively increase both the number and duration of your reps. (And as in any exercising, remember to breathe.) When you can control these muscles well enough, they will be your best direct method for halting an ejaculation.

You can actually measure your surging PC strength by laying incrementally heavier fabrics over your penis to see how much weight you can keep aloft. You can progress from a washcloth to, say, a beach towel. If you’re really ambitious you can even attach buy penis weights and attach them to your penis, and track your own progress with weights.

During masturbation, as your PC muscles grow stronger, let yourself get closer and closer to ejaculation and then squeeze down hard to stop the ejaculation. Eventually, you can even reach ejaculatory inevitability and still stop the expulsion of fluid by squeezing down. Once the idea of “backing off” becomes familiar and it’s under control, a man can prolong his arousal for periods of 30 to 60 minutes and even hours on end.

Read the second part of ways for men to have multiple orgasms.

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