Secrets of Great Kissers: How to Make Her Melt

This article is for you if you love kissing women – but it’s about how to make women love kissing YOU. Most women would agree that there’s nothing in the world like fabulous kissing to make us just about lose our minds. And there’s nothing like bad kissing to make us lose interest fast. No matter how attracted a woman might be, all the potential for heat can turn frosty if she’s forced to endure throat-pillaging, sloppy, or just plain uninspired kissing. In a new relationship, delicious kisses can open the doorway to arousal. In an ongoing relationship, kissing that was once gourmet can become perfunctory around the same time that sex gets routine. Often the first step to rekindling a couple’s sex life is discovering the art of the kissing – all over again.

The first kiss – either the first one EVER, or in a long, long time – can be a most magical meeting of mouths, yet first kisses can also be very awkward. If you’re not sure if she wants to kiss you as much as you want to kiss her, here’s a tip…when you’re ready to move in for the kiss, look at her lips. See if they’re clamped together or relaxed and ready for the kiss to come. If she’s relaxed, try using your hands to guide your kiss. Lightly cup her chin or stroke her hair, letting the motion of your hands telegraph that you’re about to do something a bit…different. Then slowly lean in to place your lips over hers, ever so gently. No tongue. NO tongue. Linger there a few heartbeats, soft lips against lips, then release her lips and pull away just a few inches. If she doesn’t leap to the other side of the room, or wipe the back of her hand across her mouth, dip in again with slightly – but only slightly – with greater lip pressure. That’s one way to begin…but what next? Given that great kissing means so much, what distinguishes luscious kisses from lackluster ones? Even though we all have our own little quirks, sensational smooches (and smoochers) have much in common. Here are some stage directions taken from the best of the best kissers:

  • First, keep lips slightly parted, relaxed but not slack, applying soft, sweet lip caresses. No tongue for starters. Kissing is like a little drama, and it has to build slowly.
  • Pay attention to what your partner is doing. If she is being hesitant, don’t force your tongue into her mouth.
  • Only use your tongue if she parts her lips and you feel comfortable that the kiss is not coming to an end. Can you tell that I think that some of you might be a lot too loose and lappy with the tongue? Not good!
  • When you use your tongue, keep it relaxed, sensually exploring – not firing forward like a dart. Don’t go for the throat or open your mouth wide, like you’re trying to swallow a face. The term “sucking face” sounds icky – and it feels even worse! If you get her face wet, you’ve done it wrong!
  • Remember to swallow your own saliva so that your kisses don’t get sloppy. Great kissing can get moist, but never slobbery. Now, you might wonder when to swallow without breaking the flow of the kiss. When you need to swallow, that’s a perfect moment to work in a little variation – slowly pull back to gaze into her eyes, stroke her lips with the tip of your index finger, or trail your lips across her throat while you do your own oral housekeeping.
  • Try alternating between kissing the upper lip and the lower (so that your lips are interlocked). Or use your fingers and your teeth as kissing “accessories.” Touch and nip gently at her lips, or softly stroke her cheek or the curve of her neck. Try tenderly holding her face in your hands and kissing her eyelids, her forehead, the tip of her nose, her throat, keeping your own eyes open. Again, use your hands to increase the intensity of the moment, with moves like stroking her hair and tugging it back, or holding her waist with both hands, or pulling her closer.
  • Vary your kisses. Some gentle, some rough; some soft, some hard. Change up the pacing, duration, tempo, rhythm. If you are using your tongue in her mouth, be playful and don’t leave it in there too long – take breaks; try something else.
  • Remember, kissing should indulged just for the sake of kissing. Lose yourself in the splendor of it. Don’t even think about getting to the next base.
  • Save wild and passionate kisses for truly wild and passionate moments. Don’t charge forward with a blockbuster kiss unless it reflects the spirit within.
  • Be responsive. Kissing is a dance. Sometimes you lead, sometimes your partner does. Stay tuned in to the inner music and follow the beat.
  • Finally…practice a lot. The more you kiss, the more expert you get. Practice on the palm of your hand or your own fingertips to get a sense of it.

Remember that great kissing can be like a meditation that focuses your attention to a pinpoint. As the outside world dissolves, she’s all that exists for you, and you’re all that exists for her – your mouth, your lips, your tongue, your touch. Isn’t that the effect you want to have?

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