New Tricks for Better Sex: Cowgirl

In this article, I’m going to describe variations to one tried and true position: the woman on top position, often known as the cowgirl, or sometimes called the reverse cowgirl, if the woman is facing away from her partner. With cowgirl or reverse cowgirl, there are lots of variations and options to how a woman positions her body and how she moves. First, though, I want to give you a few words of advice that apply no matter which alternatives you choose. Be sure that your g-spot – or, if you’re a man listening to this, your woman’s g-spot – is aroused before penetration. To review some basics about the g-spot – it’s a super sensitive area behind the front wall of the vagina, a few inches in. Firm, well-placed stroking of this pleasure palace can open up a whole new world of sensation, but often this is best done with the fingers. I’ve discussed this before in my orgasm articles, so if you want to know a lot more about the g-spot, go have a look at those. I’d also suggest spending 10 to 20 minutes – minimum – in kissing, fondling, sexy talking, oral play, toy play and anything else your imagination can invent before before going after the g-spot. That might not always be what a woman wants, but it’s best to proceed that way unless she clues you in that she’s eager for something different. Ok – let’s get to some fancy twists and turns for the old cowgirl!

You’ve probably heard that cowgirl is great for giving women orgasms during intercourse because the woman has more control of the movements. However, that’s not true at all for many women. Yet some of the lesser-known variations on cowgirl can still become favorites even for gals who ordinarily don’t feel that they’re fans of “bronco riding” positions.

In one of the basic cowgirl moves, the woman straddles her partner while he is lying on his back and slowly lowers herself onto his erect pemis. Often, women on top do a sort of back and forth grinding motion – but I’m going to suggest a different move that’s more versatile. This move is a bit like a male thrust in reverse – that is, the woman slides up and down his shaft by lifting her lower body and alternating deep and shallow thrusts. She can flex her PC muscles around him and intensify sensations, too.

Once in this position, she can try leaning backward, arching her back – hands on his thighs and knees for support. She is now completely open to his touch or to his placing a small vibrator on her clitoris. Or she can do quite the opposite – lean forward so that her clitoris is making direct contact with his pelvic bone as she glides up and down. As her clit lightly connects or slaps down hard against him, she’ll experience unique sensations and can make the most of her control.

With cowgirl position, a woman has a lot of play in how she moves her pelvis. I’ve mentioned two options so far – sliding up and down, deep and shallow – and rocking hips back and forth while keeping the depth of penetration steady. Well, here are a couple more.

One, she rotates her hips, doing figure eights or side to side circular motions, like imagining the figure eight on its side. She can lift up, move her hips to the side and come back down, or go in a circle, and that way hit internal spots that she doesn’t normally feel. Second, she tilts her pelvis forward and down – flattening her vulva onto her partner’s pubic area. Then, if she moves her hips in circular motions without lifting up, she’ll get lots of grinding clitoral stimulation. Some women respond wildly to that and some don’t, but she’ll know when she tries it.

Some women are leery of cowgirl because they feel so exposed, so looked-at by their partner. Part of the trick to enjoying it is to censor negative thoughts, or self-consciousness about looking adept in the saddle, since these thoughts can knock out any sensations –meaning the position won’t do much. Negative thoughts are like flipping a switch, shutting the body down.

Now, if you’re a woman listening to this, and you’ve never quite gotten the hang of cowgirl or you haven’t found it to be the best way to enhance sensation, I’m going to tell you a great way to improve the whole concept.

Get off the bed and into a living room chair! Here you basically sit on your partner’s lap with your feet planted on the floor, or, if it’s a big loungy chair, you could be kneeling on it or straddling the arms of the chair. This can make all the difference if you don’t get off on traditional cowgirl, because the angle of penetration is completely different, plus your partner also has more traction to push against you, so you may feel a lot more. Another advantage is that you’re very close together, and you’re less on display. You can lock eyes with your partner, you can kiss, and it may relax you to know that if he’s looking at your face, not at your body. Being in the chair can give you a combination of g-spot stimulation and intense clitoral stimulation that can’t be beat.

My feeling is that furniture matters a lot, so don’t reject any position until you’ve tried every stick of furniture in your house. The precise tilt of your pelvis changes how thrusts will impact your target zone – or how your own hip movements will affect you. A five-degree shift can mean a 100% enhancement in pleasure.

Now, here’s an important tip for women about communicating pleasure in any of these positions. Since expressing delight in your sensitivity is a surefire way to motivate or thrill your partner, when he hits the right spot try saying something like, “that is so sensitive! I can’t believe how good it feels. Please remember that spot!” That way, you draw your partner’s attention to what’s happening, and after a few more reminders, he’ll probable be much more likely to hit the target right each time.