Female and Male Lubricants

Today I will be going over some of the lubricants for men and women. There are a lot of types available, and basically one thing to remember when we talk about lubricants is that the genital tissue is usually very sensitive and can be easily irritated. So I always recommend sticking to some of the commercial products available, and there are lots of them.

Basically, we have three different kinds of lubes: one type is water-based lubricants, we have oils, and then we have silicone-based lubricants. And I always like to recommend the water-based lubricants, just to show you some of them that are out here. These are specifically designed for the genitals, and they’re usually not irritating and they easily wash out. This is specifically for the water-based type – they’re easy to wash out. So this one is called Astroglide, and I’m going to put them next to each other here. This one is K-Y liquid. K-Y makes different kinds, and you will find many, many more options in the drugstore. Vagisil – this one has Vitamin E, I recommend this specifically for women who have pain during intercourse. Lubes containing Vitamin E can be extra good, and this one also has Vitamin E in it. K-Y recently came out with a warming liquid, and on contact, on genital contact, and when you rub against the genitals with this lubricant it’s a warming sensation that people really like, so this one has been very popular. So those are all water-based lubes, and again there are many, many more on the market. But I usually recommend using water-based type, mainly because they are specifically designed for that purpose, and also they’re easily washed out. And I do want to emphasize one thing if you like to have anal sex it is very important to use lots of lubrication, and sometimes thicker lubrication is better. And I have all of these in my office for people to simply try them on their fingers and see which one they like. I also recommend getting one of these lube samplers. This happens to be from Good Vibrations – lots of different websites sell samplers. Basically what it is is a bunch of different lubricants, and it’s really fun to try out the ones you like, and they are all very different – they have different textures, more or less slippery, they come in different tastes, for instance, so go ahead – that’s something I really recommend, go and get one of these lube samplers, and just see what you like best. And then you can always buy a big bottle of whatever you like best. So the lube samplers are great.

Now let’s see – I would like to mention a little bit more about the water based lubricants. The one thing that’s important with them is the water sometimes dries up – they need to be re-applied frequently. And I always tell people, don’t just keep them in the bathroom – bring it in wherever you are having sex, bring the lubricant along, it needs to be reapplied frequently. Most of these water based lubricants also contain glycerin to make them more slippery, and some people don’t tolerate the glycerin that well. And at the end I’ll give you some options for when that is the case.

For the oil based lubricants, since the genitals are so sensitive and easily irritated, I would always recommend for you to stay away from the scented oils. It’s just not a good idea to use that on the genitals. And also I don’t recommend using lotions or creams because they just get absorbed too quickly and they don’t really provide a lot of lubrication. The thing about the oils is that they can be very hard to wash out – it takes a long time and it takes a lot of water and soap. The one thing, though, that is very important to know about oil based lubricants is that they tend to destroy anything that has latex in it. And that is condoms, latex condoms, latex dental dams that are used for oral sex on women, gloves, if for some reason you need gloves for penetrating with your fingers and using safer sex methods, diaphragms and latex sex toys, all don’t do well with oil based lubricants. I mainly recommend those for solo sex – for when you’re by yourself and you do not need to use safer sex methods. So those are the oil based lubricants.

Finally, the third option is the silicone based lubricants. And there are several options out there – one is Eros Bodyglide and then the other one is called Wet Platinum. Those are very popular. They tend to be a little bit – quite a bit more expensive, actually. They have an oily consistency but they’re not greasy. They do wash out with soap and water but it’s not as easy to wash them out as the water based lubricants. However, these are safe to use with latex condoms and products like sex toys. So that’s an important difference from the oil based lubricants. But, on the other hand, one thing that you should know if you’re using silicone based lubricants, you should not combine them with silicone based toys. And again, they tend to be more expensive than the other lubricants.

One thing I do want to emphasize here is that some of the lubes have something called nonoxynol-9. If you see that nonoxynol-9 is contained, it used to be put in lubes because it was shown that it would kill viruses, and it was thought that this would maybe be a way to kill HIV viruses. But it ended up being very irritating to a lot of people, sometimes to the extent of causing little sores, little lesions, which of course is not very healthy. So I always recommend staying away from nonoxynol-9. Try not to get any lubricant with that compound in it. It was a good idea because they thought it was going to kill the virus, but in reality it doesn’t work very well. Now I already mentioned that some people, usually women, are very sensitive to the glycerin part, and the nonoxynol-9, and something like propylene glycol that is in some of the lubricants, so sometimes these lubricants contain components that are very irritating, and some women actually end up – and I’m talking about women specifically because this is women who maybe have pain during intercourse – sometimes have a hard time using these lubricants – and what options do they have left? There are a few natural things out there that they can use, maybe mineral oils, mild mineral oils are good, and saliva – spit – has been used for thousands of years. Some people say don’t use it because there’s too many bacteria, and maybe there could be viruses in it. I have never seen a scientific study on this, and if that works for you then that’s fine, to use saliva. Finally, there is a product – it’s actually a makeup remover, it’s called Albolene. And it contains mostly mineral oil, and that is used by a lot of men and women as a lubricant, and it actually gets more slippery as it gets warmer. And another option that is natural is Vitamin E body oil – it’s a very oily, thick, slippery consistency, and this also works well as a lubricant, especially if women maybe have pain during intercourse or lots of irritation, then Vitamin E can be very good.

The one thing, finally, that I do not recommend is Vaseline, because it is simply too thick and it blocks the pores. It’s very hard to wash off, so I usually do not recommend Vaseline at all. There should be enough other options out there for you.

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