Enjoying Oral Sex

If the avoidance of food is anorexia, we might coin the word cunnorexia to designate an aversion to cunnilingus. There are males with cunnorexia who will not orally pleasure a woman, but there are also women who actively avoid receiving oral stimulation. This is unfortunate, as cunnilingus is among the most effective ways to arouse a woman and to bring her to orgasm. The majority of female cunnorexics have never experienced oral stimulation, and their turn-off is not the result of having found cunnilingus to be physically uncomfortable. Rather, it seems, most women who do not want to be orally pleasured will not allow the act to even begin, either by announcing their aversion in advance or pushing the giver away from their vulva.

Most cunnorexic women are unable to explain why they do not want to receive oral sex, but will voice vague reasons like, “its yucky,” “its dirty,” its wrong,” or “its unnatural.” The first task in overcoming the avoidance is to help the woman understand that cunnilingus is none of these. However, even with a new mental understanding, an avoidance is not easily overcome because of all the anxiety that is associated with the attempt to break it. Think about it. If you have been avoiding something and now approach it, your anxiety will go up. The surest way to reduce this negative feeling is to back away. Thus, with the decrease of anxiety, avoidance seems safe.

The place to start the introduction of cunnilingus to a cunnorexic woman is to patiently begin with behaviors that do not increase her anxiety. The process cannot be hurried. During several love-making sessions, the giver should include sensual kissing of the womans neck and shoulders and oral stimulation of her breasts during their foreplay. If during a couple of sessions she is comfortable with this easy step, the kissing and licking can also move down to her stomach, always with the giver expressing pleasure in giving pleasure. One word of caution, however. Not everyone likes to have their navel (belly button) probed, so lick around it, gently kiss it, but do not stick your tongue into it. Remember, the goal is to maintain relaxation and minimize anxiety. The receiver should not hesitate to ask the giver to stop or back up, and the giver must respect the request.

If, over several playful sessions, the cunnorexic woman has been comfortable with the oral stimulation of her breasts and stomach, the giver can slowly move down to licking and kissing just above the womans pubic bone. If she is unshaven, positive comments about her pubic hair should be made by the giver. The giver can take time to visually appreciate her unique texture and pattern of this pubic patch. Then, for the next small step, if everything is going well, move the kisses to her pubic hair, teasing a bit with the tip of the tongue.

Hopefully, everything will be progressing at a rate comfortable for the receiver. The next step, though small for the giver, might be a big one for the cunnorexic woman if she has worried about her taste and smell. The giver, while nuzzling her pubic hair, can capture a bit of the woman’s lubrication on the tip of a finger and bring it up to where it can be tasted. Positive verbal comments on the pleasant taste and exotic aroma should be made.

Up to this point, the woman’s vulva has been orally avoided, but there has been the process that in psychology is known as “successive approximation.” Now is not quite the time for the big step, however. Knowing that the woman has remained relaxed with being close to the final act, and has been comfortable being tasted and smelled, the giver can move down to licking and kissing her thighs. Initially, the receiver should be allowed to open her legs to the extent she is comfortable. The giver can orally stimulate the inner thighs to the extent possible . . . again with positive verbal comments on the tastes of skin, the view available, and any aroma detected. If the cunnorexic woman is relaxed and not feeling pressured, the givers genuine enthusiasm should add to the experience.

Remember each time to begin at the beginning. After the initial kissing and fondling, the oral stimulation should always begin with kissing and licking of the neck, shoulders, breasts, and stomach. If after a few sessions if everything is going well with having moved down to thighs, the giver can gently spread the receiver’s legs. This is another opportunity to visually appreciate the woman’s body and offer positive comments on the beauty of her vulva and the attractiveness of her fragrance. As long as the woman is comfortable, the kissing and licking can now move up as close as possible to her genitals, but still without the final step – unless invited.

Now, assuming there have been some successful sessions of licking up to her vulva, but not including it, and after beginning at the beginning and slowly moving down, it is time for a single superficial lick up over the womans genitals. The giver should wait for feedback, either verbal or behavioral. If it is obvious that the woman remains relaxed, additional superficial licking of the vulva can follow.

At this point, the giver should ask about the woman’s comfort level. If she acknowledges that she is still relaxed, the giver can ask permission to lick with more intensity. The receiver should always have the right to progress or back away. If she is not ready for the final step of some serious cunnilingus, over the next couple of sessions all of the previous “successive approximation” steps should be repeated, including the superficial vulvar licking. Eventually, the woman should become ready to grant final permission and, if she remains totally relaxed, should quickly discover the exquisite pleasure of cunnilingus.

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